Michael Jackson

If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends,
Make it last forever friendship never ends,
If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give,
Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is.

This is how my parents met.

EXCEPT...

the bottle of water should be a bottle of grain alcohol.
and the koala should be my mommy.

Purple Brain

"He loved to win, and always would. During the mid-1980's, during a visit with his arch rival Michael Jackson, Prince challenged him to a game of Ping-Pong. To intimidate the self-proclaimed King of Pop, Prince furiously smashed the ball across the table right at him."

I'm reading this bad-ass Prince biography during my study breaks. I just imagine Prince, really mad probably wearing a t-shirt saying "Bubbles sux", his eyes watering, running mascara, waiting to hit that ball.

Michael Jackson stands nonchalantly at the other end of the table, doe-eyed, semi-hard, waiting for Prince to make the first move......

yo, I also learned that Prince boned like 20 hunnies by the time he was 15, and his first band was named "Champagne". How fucking hot is that. It's all bubbly and shit.

T-Time till my graduate degree: 10 dayz, bitches.

I'd hit it.

Britney? Are you a fucking genius?

What a rhetorical question.


Love me, hate me
Say what you want about me
But all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to If U Seek Amy
Love me, hate me
But can’t you see what I see?
All of the boys and all of the girls are begging to If U Seek Amy


"If you seek Amy" sounds like F.U.C.K me AND If you sucking me

GENIUS. PURE GENIUS.

Marry me slowly.

Inaugurational Baller.

The past 24+ hours have been out of control.

Last night I went to the Florida ball. I picked out the sluttiest dress I could knowing I would be rubbing elbows with Florida's elite. My mom and dad gave a simultaneuous look of dissaproval as I walked down the stairs of my DC house, She's-All-That-style.

The ball was pretty cool. My parents shelled out to get me a ticket. Everyone else there was over 40. I danced with an old man in a bowtie, met some senator, saw a really dope Richard Avedon exhibit, took shots with my dad. Pretty cool night.

This morning- alarm goes off at 3:30am- I had to be on the mall at 5 in the motherfrackin' morning. My dad dropped me off at the metro at around 4, still drunk, wearing my stupid inaugural volunteer hat, getting asked questions I didn't know the answers to... I finally get to my meeting spot at around 5. It's fucking freezing, and dark out. Already there are hundreds of thousands of people streaming into the mall to get as close to the capitol as poss.

I have never seen more people. I remember Clinton's inauguration and it was sparse as hell compared to this shit. So cool. I def got some frostbite yo.

The picture is a shit-resolution picture I took on my blackberry of the metro congestion.

I love Obami.

Idiot of The Decade

Well to start off my Monday I get a noonish call from Andra asking me to "be her mommy" and help her get her day started.

If this was the first time Ms. Tomsa had asked me to "be her mommy", perhaps I would be a little more sympathetic.

Unfortunately, this is not the case.

Andra asks me to mother her about once a week; whether it's because she is too hungover to properly bathe herself, wearing a monumentally inappropriate outfit, or because she is lost (usually it is a combination of the 3).

We now have a tradition- a sad, sad tradition: every time we are out after about an hour of boozing, Andra looks at me pathetically and hands me her cellphone. This is because Andra can't keep it together to keep track of it herself, so I am now used to carrying it throughout the night. Anyslutway, I have been out of town for the month, and the first night I am gone, she loses it (her mind and cellphone).

GRAD SCHOOL ANDRA.

Fuck med school.....

Rock of Love Bus is the best show. The hoes on it are legendary. It's like they made caricatures of past guests and brought them to life- Frankenstein style. Some girl rapped on a STD brochure while another took a shot (a creamy shot, no less) out of her snatch.

now that's a real shot of love. Bret Michaels, you made a big mistake eliminating this broad.

If there is a fourth season, I'm there.